I am supposed to be getting my textbooks in the mail today, so I went to the door and looked on the porch to see if they had been delivered yet. As I turned to come back inside, this big black thing came flying past my face and landed in the entry way. It scampered away pretty quickly and started running into the dining room. It took a minute for me to tell exactly what it was, but when it stopped long enough for me to look at it, this is what I saw...
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AN F-ING JUMPING SPIDER!!!
AND I WAS BAREFOOT!

Those front little "arms" actually look like claws!

After I ran past it and landed, rather ungracefully, in the kitchen, I figured that I had to do something with it or else it would find me and Jordan! At this point I'm having a heart attack! It is probably about 3" long and 2" wide. It's a dang big spider! So I pulled on my "big girl" pants, put on Jake's shoes (they are bigger and more protective than mine) and grabbed some hand weights and a bowl. I figured if I couldn't kill it with the weights then maybe I could trap it under the bowl and wait until one of the men came home to deal with it. Well, I threw both weights, both shoes, and a decorative wreath (don't tell Sandy!) and nothing phased this f-ing spider. It kept rearing up at me and then crouching down like it was going to jump. I was just about to cry at this point. This thing is SO big and they can jump several FEET! I was able to reach one of the weights and threw it again. This time it hit the spider and turned it around. I was finally able to sneak behind it and trap it in the bowl. So now this is what is happening in the front room.

I can't go in there now even though I KNOW he's trapped and can't possibly get me, but you never know! I keep looking at it to make sure it hasn't been overturned. I keep thinking of all of the horrible things from Arachnophobia. They seriously modeled those horrible spiders after the guy trapped in my front room! I can feel it on me, even now.
Yeah, I'm pretty brave!

By the way, I am now wearing long sleeves, pants, THICK socks, and my Ugg boots... just in case! I'm still considering a scarf, gloves, and beanie...